The world is illusory;
Brahman alone is real;
Brahman is the world. ~ Sri Ramana Marharshi
A Path of the Awakened Soul
I find that I’m shifting in consciousness a whole lot. Beliefs, thoughts, ideas, judgments, opinions, are all fading away. The ego (resistance to what is) is falling away. Its as if I’m being reconnected with what is, and the true essence of my own being. I experience heavy loss of desire to do or be anything other than just to just be. Everything that is false, which is just about everything became apparently and blazingly clear to me. Now I’m transitioning and starting to feel deep love and reverence for the world, rather than just being the observer without any emotion or attachment to it. There’s still no attachment, but compassion has definitely come in now.
I relish in states of bliss and “No-Mind” (no thoughts occurring) often in my present reality. At first I got stuck there and there was a fear that this nothingness and emptiness and joy that I felt was so scary because the “I” didn’t want to become a complete blob in the world. And again I questioned that fear. Is it true that I will become a blob if I surrender to what is, and the depth and spaciousness of nothingness and something at the same time? And the answer clearly appears. The interesting part of this journey is embodying all these new energies and realizations that are occurring within me on a daily basis. Embodying this freedom in my mind, body, heart, & soul is the challenge. Most days I don’t feel urges to “do” much outside of eating, sleeping, and being. Then other urges come like singing, or reading, or listening to something inspirational or educational on my spiritual journey, or journaling. Its as if I’m in a huge vortex and everything that isn’t truly me at the essence is fading away. But I’m always looking or aware of my egoic tendencies as it causes immense and immediate pain within my mind, body, and heart. I feel it instantly and immediately know that its another belief, issue, or thought that I must work through.
Spiritual Awakening happened for me at 18, and again two weeks ago from today. The dis-identification from the “I” was so profound that the peace beyond all understanding hasn’t really left me ever since. I literally feel presence and my “inner” body majority of the time. Its like a tingling sensation from my head to my toe, and often times no mind.
I’ve also noticed a difference in the way I communicate. Before it was all ego, and I would anticipate or automatically be thinking of things to say when communicating. And now its a lot of being present and spacious for the other(s) in my company and letting responses or none arise. Getting comfortable with the “no” response was and is definitely a challenge. There’s a part of the “I” that doesn’t want to seem awkward when there’s nothing that arises in response to other people’s way of communication. Alot of times I feel nothing just emptiness when others are confessing or telling me of their life stories and dramas, and other times I feel deep compassion or laughter (two-sides of the same coin) as I recognize the game of it all.
Of course my path will not be like yours, and I really felt the urge to document the way of it all at the moment. Bringing this awakened energy into every aspect of my life is like be a glass in its infancy stages before it is molded into something beautiful by the high temperature fires. Often times sleep, meditation, being, doing nothing, dancing around the house, singing, journaling, or whatever else arises are the ways that embodying this new yet old and familiar energy of my true essence is. And once again I’m reminded that this is just a part of the journey of the awakened soul. Its neither interesting nor not interesting. It just is. And yet its such a beautiful and challenging experience all on its own.